Co-parenting with your former spouse can sometimes feel like an impossible task. You probably have several unresolved problems, wounded feelings, and cannot ever seem to have a conversation about your children without arguing. Before either of you can become effective co-parents, you need to work on rebuilding trust. You and your former spouse may never become friends again, but as long as you can learn to respect and trust one another on some level, you can raise your children together as a team.
Getting Along with Your Former Spouse
The divorce process can be emotionally grueling for some and, at the end of it, you might find it difficult to cooperate with your ex as you continue parenting your children together. However, it is in their best interests that you learn to set aside your differences, forgive the past, and move forward. If necessary, find another outlet for your feelings, and continue to work through them in a way that will not interfere with your ability to work with your co-parent.
More importantly, do not to involve your children in the problems you may encounter with your former spouse. They have enough on their plate and using them to relay messages to your former spouse will only cause them stress and pain. You love your kids and want what is best for them, so leave them out of the drama.
You know how you like to be treated, so consider the Golden Rule—treat others (even your ex) as you would like to be treated. Consider some of these tips as you work on rebuilding a healthier relationship with your co-parent:
- Do not break your promises: Nothing builds mistrust quite like repeatedly breaking your promises, so make an effort to only make promises you know you can keep. Keeping your promises will help reignite trust from your former spouse and help your children feel secure and safe. If something comes up and you absolutely cannot keep a promise, inform your co-parent as soon as you can and honestly explain the situation.
- Put in an honest effort: People can tell when one makes an honest effort. It does not mean your relationship as co-parents will always be perfect, but it does mean you will develop a greater level of trust in one another’s intentions. It will also reduce your children’s stress and help them feel confident in the future.
- Exercise some restraint: Issues regarding your children will always be personal for both of you, but you should exercise some restraint and avoid overreacting, especially if your children are near. Think before you act and try to avoid being impulsive.
- Be supportive of your former spouse’s relationship with the kids: You both want what is best for your children even if you cannot always see eye-to-eye on what that means. Let your co-parent know when you think he or she is doing something well. You both probably spent a lot of time tearing into each other before your divorce, so now you need to take some time to build each other back up as parents again.
Contact Our Compassionate Family Law Team Today!
If you are experiencing some difficulties with your co-parent and you cannot resolve them without legal intervention, contact the family law attorneys at Weis Law Group for the skilled representation and guidance you need. Attorney David Plumb in our office has the legal experience you need. You can trust that your case will be in good hands with him.
Call us today at (614) 428-0266 to set up a confidential consultation.