Rebuilding a Healthy Co-Parenting Relationship with Your Ex

Co-parenting with your former spouse can sometimes feel like an impossible task. You probably have several unresolved problems, wounded feelings, and cannot ever seem to have a conversation about your children without arguing. Before either of you can become effective co-parents, you need to work on rebuilding trust. You and your former spouse may never become friends again, but as long as you can learn to respect and trust one another on some level, you can raise your children together as a team.


The divorce process can be emotionally grueling for some and, at the end of it, you might find it difficult to cooperate with your ex as you continue parenting your children together. However, it is in their best interests that you learn to set aside your differences, forgive the past, and move forward. If necessary, find another outlet for your feelings, and continue to work through them in a way that will not interfere with your ability to work with your co-parent.

More importantly, do not to involve your children in the problems you may encounter with your former spouse. They have enough on their plate and using them to relay messages to your former spouse will only cause them stress and pain. You love your kids and want what is best for them, so leave them out of the drama.

You know how you like to be treated, so consider the Golden Rule—treat others (even your ex) as you would like to be treated. Consider some of these tips as you work on rebuilding a healthier relationship with your co-parent: